DEER MEAT

A hunter bags a deer and takes it home to feed his family.

Both he and his wife decide that they won't tell the kids what kind of meat it is, but will give them a clue and let them guess.

The kids were eager to know what the meat was on their plates, so they begged their dad for the clue.

"Well," he said, "It's what mommy calls me sometime."

The little girl screams to her brother, "Don't eat it Bobby, it's an asshole!"


JUST ONE COMPLIMENT

A woman is standing nude looking in the bedroom mirror.

She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, "I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment."

The husband replies,"Your eyesight's damn near perfect."